American Special Envoy to Northern Ireland Is Tricked by Faeries Into Declaring for the Irish Tongue

The Faeries must have been at the pints of the President of America's prestigious Council of Foreign Relations during his many trips to Belfast in his capacity as the Chair of the “Northern Ireland Inter-Party Talks Dealing with Parades, Flags and the Past”. Mr Haass also served as “United States Special Envoy to Northern Ireland.” This icon of the American power structure is reported in multiple news accounts declaring in favour of the Irish tongue being made an official language of Northern Ireland.

Maybe Ambassador Haass was caught in a Faery Wind, the qickening of the breeze that signals the passing of a Faery host.

We all know that the Irish tongue needs all the help it can get, no matter what people say.  Just look at the way it is treated by Dublin. But this is as a tale from the Sidhe, those raised mounds that dot the Irish countryside where the Little People are said to live.  Haass, a New York native, frequent guest on the American morning news program Morning Joe, raised in Brooklyn and a fine looking man who at first glance can be mistaken for a McIntyre from KillyBegs, declares the historic Celtic tongue of Ireland should be made an official language of a not insignificant part of the United Kingdom. 

Standing next to the stunning Miss Meghan O’Sullivan, his Vice-Chair and former Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor, the Little People no doubt mistook him for a modern day incantation of a Tuatha de Danaan, the fallen gods of the Celtic pantheon.

I hope the seemingly affable and well spoken Mr. Haass has been warned, as the Faeries may have been tricked into believing it was for the love of them that he would say such a thing.  For as everyone knows the only mortal language known to the Faeries is Celtic, although they are said to favour Cornish.  I can see how they were deceived. Beware Mr. Haass, for as described by Dr. James MacKillop in the seminal Dictionary of Celtic Mythology”: “Faeries are not generally malevolent or harmful… (but)…if affronted, a Faery will retaliate with resolute vengeance”. 

Maybe the little buggers thought that the “Interparty Talks” were not really addressing “Parades, Flags and the Past”, but that the United States has finally decided to intervene and relieve their wee selves of the bad feelings people hold against them because of the noisome Fairy Rings.  Now if there are problems in Ireland, surely Faery Rings must be ranked  high. For a Faery Ring is “A circle found in a lawn or pasture land thought to have been caused by dancing fairies…If a human steps into the ring he or she is compelled to join the fairies in their wild dancing which would seem to occur in a few minutes but in fact lasts for seven years or more.  The unfortunate mortal dancer can be rescued by having someone from outside the ring grab hold of his or her coat tails." (MacKillop)  

So it might be best to watch your step Mr. Haass.  There are some, but not many things worse than being caught in a Faery Ring.


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